Dalvir Gill‎ - through the breeze the river stands still I flow

Dalvir Gill‎Hokku Workshop - Zoka

January 4, 2013 · Brampton ·

through the breeze
the river stands still
I flow

LikeLike · · 117

• Robert D. Wilson likes this.
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  Carole MacRury Dalvir, does a river stand still? I think of them as constantly flowing...

  January 4, 2013 at 6:31pm · Like
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  Alan Summers I like the idea of the human conceit behind this. We can easily think we are greater than nature, and that everything is still around us. Not sure about the last line as is, but great potential here.

  January 4, 2013 at 6:36pm · Like · 2
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  Don Baird Hi Dalvir ... we need a "cut-marker" (kireji) for this poem. Would it be at the end of Line 2? Please let me know.
  
  through the breeze
  the river stands still;
  I flow
  
  ?

  January 4, 2013 at 6:38pm · Unlike · 1
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  Dalvir Gill sure Don Baird, I'll re-post what punctuation sign is better ? <
  through the breeze
  the river stands still;
  I flow
  
  or
  
  through the breeze
  the river stands still -
  I flow

  January 5, 2013 at 12:59pm · Like
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  Don Baird I like the hyphen ...

  January 5, 2013 at 1:22pm · Unlike · 1
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  Robert D. Wilson You come here to workshop and learn with an open mind. Right on, Dalvir!

  January 5, 2013 at 7:15pm · Unlike · 2
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  Dalvir Gill thanks Robert. /o\ .... in Peace i come LOL

  January 5, 2013 at 7:17pm · Like · 1
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  Carole MacRury I don't get "I flow"....wish I did, but I don't. I do love the first two lines...Would love to more about this one.

  January 5, 2013 at 11:54pm · Like
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  Don Baird Maybe he feels his energy ... his personal river within ... ?

  January 5, 2013 at 11:55pm · Like
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  Carole MacRury Maybe...but I find it very difficult to enter this poem. I'd love to hear from Dalvir about what he felt.

  January 5, 2013 at 11:59pm · Like
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  Robert D. Wilson I think of Siddhartha in Hesse's novel of the same name, becoming the Buddha by becoming the river. I am the river. What have I seen? What am I seeing? What will I see?

  January 6, 2013 at 12:10am · Like
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  Carole MacRury Yes..I see Robert, but I can't imagine Basho saying, "I flow"...it seems esoteric...just trying to understand...

  January 6, 2013 at 12:14am · Like
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  Robert D. Wilson We cannot be musk melons. Basho wanted us to entertain our own dance with zôka. We as life forms flow: our spirits, our blood, our breaths,

  January 6, 2013 at 12:17am · Like · 1
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  Carole MacRury Even a musk melon wants to know its world. I'm okay with not being able to realize this one.

  January 6, 2013 at 12:22am · Like · 2
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  Robert D. Wilson I think what Dalvir is referring to is, via contrasting images, that what appears to be still, only appears to be. A human standing still appears to be still, but there isn't stillness inside or out, only the appearance of such. The same goes or a river looking apparently still from a distance. Close up, of course, and to our knowledge, we know a river is not still.

  January 6, 2013 at 1:41am · Like · 1
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  Lisette Root It is a matter of perception I think, and I am constantly amazed that the Earth itself, rivers and all, travels at 67,062 mph around the Sun, and yet we do not feel it. Time itself is a river in my mind, and I am a time traveler, as we all are:) Isn't life amazing?

  January 6, 2013 at 3:00am · Unlike · 2
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  Robert D. Wilson We are primarily composed of water. We really do flow!

  January 6, 2013 at 3:24am · Like · 1