ਮਦਹੋਸ਼ ਸਾਂ
ਤਾਂਹੀਂ ਪੁੱਛਦਾ ਰਿਹਾ
ਏਨੇ ਸਵਾਲ
ਤਾਂਹੀਂ ਪੁੱਛਦਾ ਰਿਹਾ
ਏਨੇ ਸਵਾਲ
- You, Gurmukh Bhandohal Raiawal, Tejinder Singh Gill, Gurwinderpal Singh Sidhu and 11 others like this.
- Dalvir Gill <੩
ਉਮੇਸ਼ ਭਾਈ ਮੇਰੇ 'ਨਸ਼ੇ 'ਚ ਟੱਲੀ' ਵਾਲੇ ਮੋਕੇ ਤੁਸੀਂ ਕਿਹਾ
ਹੁਣ ਜਗਰਾਜ ਹੋਰਾਂ, ਇਹ ਜਾਨ ਓਹ ਕਿਵੇਂ 5-7-5 ਨੇਂ??
ਨਹ ਉਥੇ ਦੱਸਿਆ ਨਾਂ ਇਥੇ
ਓਹ ਭਾਈ ਕੋਈ ਦੱਸੋ ਇਹ ਕਿਵੇਂ 5-7-5 ਹੈ? 
Jagmohan Sandhu ਅੱਖਾਂ ਬੰਦ -
ਮੈਂ ਕੋਣ,
ਕਿਥੋਂ ਆਇਆ,
ਕਿਥੇ ਜਾਣਾ ਆ
ਮਦਹੋਸ਼ੀ ! ਏਨੇ ਸਵਾਲ
*Umesh Kumar bha ji nu nazar chand alfaz
app da :
vickey sandhu- Jagraj Singh Norway Dalvir Gill veer ਇਹ ਅੱਖਰਾਂ ਦੀ ਗਿਣਤੀ ਹੈ ਜੀ, ਬਹੁਤ ਸਾਰੇ ਹਾਇਜਨ ਇੰਝ ਲਿਖ ਰਹੇ ਹਨ ਪਰ ਉਹ ਹਾਇਕੂ ਦੇ ਰੂਲਜ਼ ਨੂੰ ਅੱਖੋਂ ਪਰੋਖੇ ਕਰ ਰਹੇ ਹਨ, ਖਿਣ ਅਤੇ ਜਕਸਟਾਪੋਜ਼ੀਸ਼ਨ ਭਲਿਆਂ ਨਹੀਂ ਥਿਆਉਂਦਾ....ਮਿਸਾਲ ਦੇ ਤੌਰ ਤੇ ਸ਼੍ਰੀ ਬੂਟਾ ਸਿੰਘ ਵਾਕਫ ਹੁਰਾਂ ਦੀ ਰਚਨਾ :::
ਇਹ ਹਾਇਕੂ
ਮੇਰੇ ਦਿਲ ਦੀ ਪੀੜਾ
ਦਰਦ ਨਿਰਾ
ਅੱਗੇ ਪਿਛੇ ਕਰ ਕੇ ਲਿਖੇ ਕੋਈ ਵੀ 17 ਅੱਖਰ ਹਾਇਕੂ ਨਹੀਂ ਕਹਾਉਂਦੇ ਜੀ
ਅਤੇ ਯਾਦ ਰਹੇ ਆਪਾਂ ਪੰਜਾਬੀ 'ਚ ਲਿਖ ਰਹੇ ਹਾਂ ਜਾਪਾਨੀ 'ਚ ਨਹੀਂ 
- Rosie Mann 1.
Haiku is poetry of the 'present time' , even if the moment has already occurred , it is structured in the present tense .
2.
Even if we were to leave the structure aside ( it can be flexible enough ) , the content should carry some/more characteristics of haiku .
The above beautiful poetry is not only about the past but also loudly structured in the past ( tense ) . The content does not make it haiku either .
3.
Umesh ji , kindly do not take this as outright criticizm of your creation , since I am not qualified to criticize . Do take is as my sharing with you my angle on haiku :)))
4.
Though one should , by all means , feel/create/write in freedom , but perhaps not to the extent of going away from the very bascis of a genre .
5.
I have thoroughly enjoyed your writing :))
But if I were to say this is a very good haiku or a haiku , in my understanding of haiku so far , I would be encouraging you to derail from the haiku journey .
6.
I myself have written pithy poems all my life , even if they sound almost like haiku , they were not . Every flow of thought is not haiku .
7
Kindly let me know that /if you have duplicated my communication .
:)))) - Rosie Mann Theek hai ji , thank you , lekin aainda Panjabi Haiku Page 'te sirf haiku naal taalluq rakhhan wali hee post saanjhi kareyo ! ( :)) )
- Umesh Ghai Rosie Mann Mam........ Tusi fer mere is kavita nu share karan nu galat tarike nal leya....... mai is haiku di parsangkta dasan layi kavita share kiti....... vaise tuhada dalvir bhaa de intoxicated wale Haiku bare ki vichar aa?
- Umesh Ghai Mai tuhade comments parhe Dalvir Bhaa de Intoxicated wale Haiku te....... hun ithe apne vichar dasso us bare ta meharbani howegi
- Rosie Mann Was that Haiku written by Dalvir posted here on Panjabi Haiku ?
Or on his status or a site which accepts all forms of poetry ? - Rosie Mann 1.
Talk about what was posted here then , if my comment was specifically about Haiku . The poetry that my friends share on their respective pages are independent of rules etc .
2.
Some sites accept all forms of poetry too , so it is pointless also to mention what I appreciate there , it is irrelevant here .
3.
I can see now that my genuine input has not been taken well , but I was mistakenly thinking that I have 'shared' my viewpoint . - Umesh Ghai I feel the same way your third point is........ and humbly........ Haiku is always free from all the techniques and anything. It is an echo of one's Heart.......... Haiku..........
- Rosie Mann Kindly see above Umesh Kumar ji , I have appreciated your writing , your thought , the poetry of it and then said something about Haiku basics . But yes , I am certainly not qualified to give my opinion on your posts . It shall not happen again . Do forgive me .
- Umesh Ghai Wow............. Great......... so my bus was on wrong way.......... I didn't know.........
- Umesh Ghai intoxicated-
how many questions
i ask
------ Dalvir Gill
ਮਦਹੋਸ਼ ਸਾਂ
ਤਾਂਹੀਂ ਪੁੱਛਦਾ ਰਿਹਾ
ਏਨੇ ਸਵਾਲ
-------- Umesh Ghai
ਮਦਹੋਸ਼ੀ
ਪੁੱਛੀ ਜਾਵੇਂ
ਸਵਾਲ ਤੇ ਸਵਾਲ
---- Sardar Dhami - Rosie Mann The first one , according to me is a wonderful haiku ( the one in English ) .
The second one doesn't make a haiku ( Consult your grammar/translation ) .
The third one is beautiful poetry .
Beyond this ask/talk with people you consider , if you do at all , who have knowledge about haiku . - Umesh Ghai Rosie mam eni der da mai ehi ta tuhanu puch reha si........ apan aiven hi larhi gaye.......... ha ha ha ha ha.........
- Umesh Ghai Ik hor gal....... 2nd one jo bhi hai 1st one di translation nahi ji...... co-incidence hai..........
- Rosie Mann Nope !! Quarreling here is not worth my time . I am only clearly giving my viewpoint . It is best to first know oneself what it is that one wants to ask , then make clear communication . Otherwise , silence !!! The gold that keeps others in doubt atleast . Now write your poetry and whatever you understand or/and not understand as haiku . I can not afford more time on somebody's ramblings .
Kindly do not address any more communication to my name . Thank you ! - Umesh Ghai Wow....... Good Show of superiority.......... Ego........ Aj karunga Kabir Ji nal thok ke gall............
- Rosie Mann I've got 12 messages in my inbox from respected persons who are watching this dialogue . And some of them mentioned Ego , but 'whose' is the million dollar question !!!!!
- Dalvir Gill <
ਨਸ਼ੇ 'ਚ ਟੱਲੀ
ਕਿੰਨੇ ਸਵਾਲ puchhchh ਹੋ ਰਹੇ
ਰੂਹ-ਬ-ਖ਼ੁਦ
Rosie, I directed a play in '90-91 at Brindra College of Commerce, Patiala. Umesh was in the cast, a 12-14 days relation, but that was on stage, rehearsing, all day long, till late night, sometimes at Amita's ( a girl in the cast ) House, all night. I'd a bond with everyone of them, all that 400-500 actors, most of them first-timers on stage. some twenty years later we found each other on FB. and agter this re-union, one time i was having a lovely row with Dhido Gill 22G and Khaira Veera came up with lines similar to Umesh's poem which he had written some time ago; so, i just changed Khaira Veer's lines to - Intoxicated/too many questions/ i ask; when Umesh saw it he commented,"Wah dalvir bha, eh laeenaN meeri kavita diaN hn, te haiku vee bn giya, oh vee 5-7-5." i kept asking that 'how's it 5-7-5??. today again i asked the same question again and Jagraj 22, passed me a clue. Now! after all this back-ground, plese rest assured that Umesh's intention isn't bad and i can tell he didn't mean to come out the way he did. I'll try to find two spots where the 'history' of this poem is, rather where two histories collide, but before coming back to this poem ( or a segment/she'ar of a poem ) an 'aside' with umesh, Umesh, i respect her highly, she's god ( or goddess ) for me. she has taught people how to write haiku, literally by holding the other end of the pencil. she isn't just any other "critic", we/you meet here on Fb every day - a dozen a dime. You hear!!! WHEN SHE TYPED, about giving her opinion on a post with,"......It shall not happen again . Do forgive me." discussion was over and that was time for an apology, and only then to present your fear, that you may have presented your case with a rude tune. it's not rude for me, but i know you and you know me, with Rosie that relation isn't there, so she going to read the post as a post and listen from the words, only, you're typing. now back to the poem which isn't even haiku-esque in nature. When a "thought" is presented in Classical Masters, the only image present is so strong that even with the increased alienation with the self of today's human, all we see is the haizen/haijin, and in the same instant we become the haizen. all we try to achieve that, but ......... .Rosie has always been pretty frank in telling her mind, and honest. there are more than one 'ku by me, where she liked it, very much liked it,but, not without telling me that ".. another different league." which means,"I know, that it more than one places it can/would/will/shall pass as a haiku, but for PHGroup, it's not the pill which can go down. I know where you're coming from but you gotta see where she is coming from. she had putt a lot for this FB group, and she loves it. she loves and probably misses the time we had two years ago.... where, if i wrote a poem like," three lines, cut & rewritten over and again/an empty paper, still," Swaran Singh Ji came with,"skhna ptra/bin sirnavioN/mandir pujja," you know i'm saying, eh? she was/is not trying to snub, she never had, even in life, there are only a few people in the world like that, and we need to pay them respect not only in our heart,but and more importantly with our acts, behaviour, our attitude. if you are tired of facing the opinionated people, she could also get fed up with the behavior where you appreciate somebody's writing, see a pen which is promising, and by way of admiring it, express your honest thoughts frankly, lovingly ... and in return the other coils back somewhere somehow my approach ( opinion ) to haiku is superior and i know how to put all the critics in place, without ever criticizing one's own approach! Where he/she is opinionated!! not a month ago i had to go out of my place and beg, where ever beg, Rosie And Arvinder Kaur to come back to this group. it's not that they had left or they were never coming back. ( We love this Group dog gamn! ) some idiot posted something, i could never found out what. but again the attitude was what Rosie aptly called "Undeveloped", note that not "under-developed but "Un-", none at all, no development since the beginning. every camel has 'a straw', where his gamut gives in, and the back-bone breaks... never be that "last straw ever!!! one can never know who other is standing right at the edge of the cliff. Never be a reason to be the 'the push-off". Umesh, we don't go through life just like that .... like we know every inch of it and even without observing and blind-folded, just by our 'emotional memory' can react to the stimuli and all-set and.... Awareness! Every moment!!! when i first came in touch with Rosie, it's through FB. i knew!!! if you were Aware Mr.Ghaee, how couldn't you? and especially here, on the post, your post! how could you miss to recognize Her, if you wre awake, you damn right if you gotta go to kabir and give him a piece of your mind. but here ye!!! Kabeer is telling you, read her First comment 10 times and if you don't see pure honey dripping and the admiration in her eyes for you, it's like she's proud of you. We'll continue to talk, but if i'm anything in your eyes, I command you this: think about it, contemplate, meditate on it if a frog's leap can enlighten some basho guy, it's a bigger bang!! think till you cry of repentance and then folded hands, go touch her feet and ask for forgiveness, if she didn't feel like it you will understand. if you tell me that you have realized what ever decision she made about your plea ............ we will talk,you know i'll love you. what who said life is that easy?!!!!! muchlove.miththe. Think till there are no thought just you, and then what ever will happen will be the right decision - Dalvir Gill Sir have you read my comment?? It never was a debate to begin with! Rosie was trying to make sense in vain. and all is in a civilized manner, that's what these social net-work group's are for, am i wrong?
- Amarjit Sathi Tiwana ਗਿੱਲ ਸਾਹਿਬ ਜੋ ਤੁਸਾਂ ਲਿਖਿਆ ਹੈ ਬਿਲਕੁਲ ਠੀਕ ਹੈ। ਰੋਜ਼ੀ ਜੀ ਨੇ ਅਪਣੇ ਵਿਚਾਰ ਬੜੀ ਸੁਹਿਰਦਾ ਨਾਲ਼ ਬਿਆਨ ਕਰ ਦਿੱਤੇ ਸਨ। ਮੈਂ ਬੇਨਤੀ ਇਸ ਲਈ ਕੀਤੀ ਸੀ ਕਿ ਵਿਚਾਰ ਵਟਾਂਦਰਾ ਬਹੁਤ ਲੰਮਾ ਹੋ ਗਿਆ ਹੈ ਇਸ ਨੂੰ ਹੋਰ ਨਾ ਵਧਾਇਆ ਜਾਵੇ। ਦੂਸਰੀ ਮੇਰੀ ਬੇਨਤੀ ਇਹ ਵੀ ਹੈ ਕਿ ਟਿੱਪਣਿਆਂ ਨੂੰ ਸੰਖਿਪਤ ਰੱਖਿਆ ਜਾਵੇ ਤਾਂ ਜੋ ਪਾਠਕ ਪੜ੍ਹ ਸਕਣ।
- Dalvir Gill <
ਟਿਵਾਣਾ ਸਾਹਿਬ ਮੈਂ ਦਿਖਾ ਸਕਦਾਂ ਹਾਂ ਕਿ fb ਤੇ ਹੀ ਕਿਸੇ ਪੋਸਟ ਦੇ ੧੦੦੦ !! ਤੋਂ ਉੱਪਰ comment
ਜੇ ਗੱਲ ਕਿਸੇ ਉਸਾਰੂ ਪਾਸੇ ਵੱਲ ਨੂੰ ਚਲਦੀ ਰਹੇ ਇਹ ਮਸਲਾ ਮੁਢਲਾ ਹੈ ਹਾਇਕੂ ਤੇ ਕਵਿਤਾ ਦਾ ਵਿਖ੍ਰੇਵਾਂ
ਤੁਹਾਡੀ ਮਿੰਨਤ ਕਰਦਿਆਂ ਜ਼ਰੂਰ ਮਸਲਾ ਲਾਈਨ ਤੋਂ ਉੱਤਰ ਰਿਹਾ ਹੈ ਤੇ ਮੇਰੇ ਤਿੰਨ ਪੈਰੇ ਧੋਤੇ ਗਏ ਇਸੇ ਚਕ੍ਰ 'ਚ
ਮਨਦੀਪ ਮਾਨ ਹੋਰਾਂ ਦੇ ਅਧੇ ਚੰਨ ਤੇ ਪੂਰੀ ਗੱਲ ਵਾਲੇ ਹਾਇਕੂ ਬਾਬਿਤ so many dduties and so little time hahahahaha, let me get back to work much LOL respect&love
